Is Shame the Link to Your Clutter and Lack of Focus?
Is shame the link to your clutter or the innocence of a coffee date…
11 am. Sitting across from each other at a local, hip café. Fragments of humming conversations buzz around our ears.
He’s here at my invitation for coffee, yet he initiated picking up the tab for my soy cafe latte and his green tea. Swoon, chivalry is alive and well.
This is not a romantic date. Still, there’s invisible risk for me.
I’m being vulnerable. Putting myself out there, engaging in face to face networking.
My animated chatting eases him as I lean forward to hear about his business and answer about mine.
His clear blue eyes, framed behind fashionable, rimless spectacles, lock on mine.
With dry humor, he quips, “You’ve mentioned divorce seven times. When did you get divorced?”
I swallow hard. “I got divorced years ago. Now, I’ve said it eight times.”
Naked
Ugh! Caught out in shame with mental clutter from the deepest wound of my life…still. Shame, keeping me tottering between playing small and growing my business.
I invite you into the murkiness of my soul, shining a light on the quicksand of mind clutter.
SHAME — SHAME — SHAME — SHAME
- I’ll have you know I make six figures!
- (For my clients…)
- I listen to clients and friends giving my feedback. “That’s exactly what my therapist says!” One of those therapists gets paid $450 an hour for weekly sessions.
- (My spot-on, mirrored perception does not)
- I help others escape the heavy weight of clutter and chaos. Several clients exclaim that working with me is “life changing!”
- (Busy changing other people’s lives; I find myself avoiding getting ready to downsize my own home)
- My life’s desire is to have a passionate, loving, connected marriage.
- (I married a man I loved who then damaged my understanding of love)
Uncovering Vulnerability – the way out of Chaos
Shame keeps us from being vulnerable. Being vulnerable allows us to connect and honor each other and ourselves.
Looking into our shame as the observer, not the critic, lessens its grip. Feeling scattered and hemmed in by clutter begins to fall away the more we allow the release of our shame.
I’ve been looking at shame, inspired by one of my favorite Ted Talks by Brené Brown: Listening to Shame.
[Tweet ““Failure isn’t fatal, but failure to change might be.” ~ John Wooden”]
Trading Shame for Freedom
I’m creating a life of prosperity and releasing thoughts and things that sabotage that path.
- I am valued for my keen perceptions, translating that into greater monetary compensation.
- As I move into a new phase in my life, I’m taking baby steps to let go of what has now become extraneous.
- It ain’t over yet! I have two amazing sons, and my loving husband is around the corner.
What shame is keeping your soul’s dreams or purpose shrouded in chaos by physical or mental clutter? Let’s unearth that dark weight together.
I shared my shame, and I’m still here.
Your turn – I promise you’ll still be here.
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So love that you referenced Brene Brown, I am such a huge fan of hers…thanks for sharing your vulnerability with all of us 💕
Brené Brown is amazing! I love any of her talks and books. Thank you for being so kind about my being vulnerable. It’s particularly scary online for so many eyes to see. But it’s also liberating. I so appreciate your reading my post and commenting.
Thanks for this Jul’s. In this Instagram age it’s really refreshing to know that even professional organisers have unchecked baggage. It’s a heartfelt reminder of what normal actually is and a call to action for us all to deal with our own ish so we can move forward too. Much appreciated!
So glad my post showed you, even the professionals get overloaded in this day of Insta—everything, Insta-Overwhelm! One reason I am so able to help others go from chaos to clarity and calm…is I’ve been there! Stuck in the clutter, stuck in the confusion. I love helping people make room for what they deeply want!
“Shame keeps us from being vulnerable. Being vulnerable allows us to connect and honor each other and ourselves.Looking into our shame as the observer, not the critic, lessens its grip.”
yes, yes, yes. here you are, baring your soul so that others can also feel the freedom you are experiencing. allowing yourself the frightening luxury of feeling vulnerable. hurrah for you and your bravery, jul’s!
Thank you so much April! It’s fans like you that make me brave
Oh Jul’s this is a powerful post. Your voice shines through as you tell your story. I am past shame for my failures…and I have many! Failure is a step to success. I don’t know if you are a GoT’s fan, but this post made me think of the walk of shame for Cersei. She felt no shame for her actions but had to make the walk for what others believed she should feel ashamed for. I think that is true in life. Often we feel shame because we think we should. P.S. Your prince will come, I promise!
Awww thanks so much Darling! I believe your promise 😉
Yes, shame and shoulds go together don’t they! I don’t know GoT’s, so I will have to check it out. Thank you so much for all your supportive and kind words…you’re esteem in my words and voice lift me up!
Just beautiful, Jul’s. Shame is something we all have and at some point have to choose whether to unburden ourselves from it. You have shared your journey to clear that weighty clutter from your life in a way that makes us all feel safe to do the same. Thank you for sharing your personal, authentic, beautiful story with us. You are a gift!! <3
Aww thank you April! I feel your praise to my core. From one gift to another, thank you!
Thank you for sharing! It is time to understand how SHAME binds us and to learn how to FREE Ourselves from it. Showing your vulnerability demonstrates your strength.
You are so very welcome Marta, and thank you for your kindness and wisdom. I agree vulnerability is our hidden strength…time to bring it out in the open.
Hey Jul,s,
Loved the blog. I guess none of us is perfect. Thanks for sharing your shame. One of these days I’ll share mine with you.
Thanks Mary, glad you loved my blog post. It’s odd, but sharing our shame seems to lessen’s it’s power over us.
This was such a powerful post.. It is SO difficult to not feel vulnerable and shame about certain things, and that does spill over to other parts of our life.. Definitely meditating on this one..
It is difficult isn’t it Pam! However, feeling the shame is the quickest way to allowing oneself to move through it.
Wonderful insights Jul’s! It’s amazing how shame can cause so much mental clutter and ultimately holds us back. I love your line “I’m creating a life of prosperity and releasing thoughts and things that sabotage that path.” Such great motivation to dig in and release what’s holding us back.
Thank you so much Angela! That mental clutter loves to root in, but I’m forgiving the pattern and letting it go.