New Year’s Resolutions ~ To Do or Not To Do
I go a little “Hamlet” on the whole New Year’s Resolutions. To do, or not to do? That is the question.
On the one hand I set them.
On the other hand, I don’t do them for more than a week. (Okay, that’s an exaggeration, I break by day 3).
Is it the pressure? The distractions? Am I weak?
New Year’s resolutions skeptic
The Urban Dictionary defines New Year’s Resolution as:
“A goal that you propose then forget the next day.” I’m in this camp.
Here’s a past New Year’s Resolution list I found in one of my old notebooks:
- Don’t eat sugar anymore (The night before binging on Milky Way® bars, Haägen dazs® Dulce de leche and all things sugar as if it was “The Last Supper”).
- Lose 5 pounds (Okay, it really was 12 pounds).
- Workout 6 days a week (Reality: Workout on 1 or 2 days, every other third week of an even month).
- Learn French (or Spanish, depending on the day and my Cuban side of guilt).
- Start Dating (But not until I have at least accomplished resolution #2).
My New Year’s resolutions failure
I still remember the end of that year re-reading this list. I beat myself up thinking, “Something must be wrong with me! Why can’t I just stick to my New Year’s resolutions!”
It took me some time to figure out that resolutions felt forced, external. “Nose to the grindstone” and “no pain no gain” thinking didn’t work for me.
Subtle soulful goals
I realized, just like most of my clients, I make better progress by not trying to control, and instead letting go of perfection.
For me resolution – to be resolute, almost has a ring of force, unyielding, unwavering in a negative sense. I like to wave, to bend if that will bring me happily closer to my goals, dreams and desires.
Being kind to myself, accepting myself exactly where I am while imagining where I want to be, allows me to let go of the struggle and move forward.
I prefer soulful goals. It’s subtle. Like being resolved, I am determined, I am willing to go the distance, however I accept that distance is likely not a straight path.
I believe accepting that you want to change something, and then focusing your energy on imagining it already changed, is the first step.
Not making resolutions, which are of the mind separate from the soul.
Affirmations instead of resolutions
So this is what I’m doing this year:
I’m setting Soulful Goals through Affirmations for this New Year in place of New Year’s Resolutions.
- I love eating naturally low-sugar foods.
- I am ready to eat healthy, real foods.
- Exercising two to three times a week makes me feel energized, focused and vibrant!
- I now attract my ideal mate.
So tell me what side of the fence you’re on. Do you set New Year’s resolutions or not? Do you find resolutions focus your actions or make you feel bad in the long run? Let me know in the comments, because as I said, I’m a bit Hamlet on this one.
If you want a more organized new year to create more happiness, health and abundance, I love to help. Take the Quiz and find out your organizing style so you can create calm and serenity your way.
Affirming this as your happiest, healthiest, most organized New Year!
Hiya, I’m Jul’s Arthur, author of the book 25 Days of Holiday Organizing! I help women professionals & entrepreneurs STOP endlessly spinning their wheels stuck in anxiety and overwhelm with the chaos and clutter in their home, instead START simplifying, so everything has a place, they gain FREEDOM, CLARITY and easily step into their DREAM LIFE. Let me help you go from chaos to FREEDOM.
The ‘no pain no gain’ mindset never worked for me either Jul’s! It was usually the fitness goals that went by the wayside for me but now that life starts to feel much mroe aligned I am doing Yoga every day instead of sporadically ‘when I have time’
I love how rephrasing them can change your way of thinking towards them too. Great idea!
Here’s mine ~ “I have time to do Yoga every single day” 🙂
Love it Gemma! Yoga is a fantastic addition to one’s day, and yes, you do have time for yoga every single day!
Jul’s, I love your sense of humour!! It soooo made me out a huge smile on my face!! Isn’t it amazing how rephrasing can make such a huge difference? xo, Christy
Aww thanks Lovely Christy! Indeed rephrasing, reframing and keeping things humorous make massive difference and change doable! xox
“subtle soulful goals.” i just love the sound of that. and i guess it’s more or less what i do.
i set goals in my head, then hash out the details here and there on paper. (this is after finally curing myself – after years and years and years – of perfectionism, trying to let go of the rigidity with which i began each year.)
i am looking at a very big goal for 2017 (my first retreat in june, taking place at my house that is still being renovated by my husband and me). but i feel oddly calm about it. i know i can do big things because i have in the past.
i do choose a word of the year (this is my 7th year running) and that helps (loosely) guide me along my way.
thanks for a wonderful (and honest) post, jul’s.
I love that you already create soulful goals! I know your big goal for 2017 will be amazing and you can/will do it!
Yes! I still can get paralyzed with perfectionism, and have to remind myself, “Done is better than perfect.” As a coach, I am so able to help those I work with to let go of perfection and rigidity, yet sometimes I find it wanting to back me up against a wall myself, still. At least my years of self-work and work helping others has given me techniques to move around this. Choosing a word or phrase for the year helps give me a quick mental slogan to keep me motivated. Thank you Darling April for enjoying my heartfelt post!
Great take on a sometimes frustrating exercise. 🙂
So happy you liked it! May your 2017 be full of EASE and success!
Jul’s, you are hysterical!! I can totally relate to your past resolution list!! I love how you reframed your resolutions. Instead of focusing on what you would lose or stop doing, you focused on what you would do and why you will enjoy doing it! GENIUS!! That small shift is going to be the difference between success and another laughable resolution list for me. Thanks a bunch!!
Fabulous to learn my humor engaged you in my New Year’s post, April! I am in your camp with the belief that reframing our mindset is the key to successful action as we create lives of design as is your specialty. You are so welcome, and thanks to you for all your GENIUS!
Fabulous post Jul’s! Love your idea of soulful goals, so much less resistance thinking of it that way. And love your line “I accept that distance is likely not a straight path” – so true. We beat ourselves up so much. I went with a word of the year instead of resolution because I’m sick of beating myself up, but soulful resolution now sounds very doable. Thanks!
Angela, I love the idea of going with a word instead of resolutions. I have a phrase for this year, Magnetic Ease…Attracting what I want with ease! As to beating ourselves up…when my mindset slips back to old patterns of award worthy autopilot beating myself up, I remind myself, “If I have to beat myself up, remember, use a feather.”
I love this idea of soulful goals — a softer and gentler approach! I’m going to share this article as I believe all of us need this!
Why thanks so very much Lynn. Softer and gentler seems to help me move faster with change and personal growth, and any time I can possibly help another person with what has worked for me…I am thrilled to share. I love that you are going to offer my post to those you know. Happy New Year!