The Dreaded FU Day…
This morning I woke up having an FU Day.
An FU Day is a Fat & Ugly Day….with the double entendre.
I created this term, the FU Day, in my pre-teen years, so it's not going to have much SEO.
Though Google, my ornery online boyfriend, may not recognize it - it may be my most original work.
Fat & Ugly Day Unleashed
I hate how my jeans feel tight on my thighs today.
I FEEL SO FAT!
I hate mirrors today! Mirrors should be shrouded as in days of old when somebody died; somebody did die, my thinner self. Murdered by self-doubt and Haagen Daz Dulce de Leche.
Technology Misery
I hate my laptop. It is so S-L-O-W. That once pretty colorful pinwheel is really pissing me off.
I hate my writing. It's not concise and spectacular like talented writers.
Dark Glasses
My vision board seems like a mockery of my life today.
Others may refer to this as a 'Getting Out of the Wrong Side of Bed Day.’ But that's because they're in DENIAL.
General Anatomy of an FU Day
You don’t want to drink a green juice.
You don’t want to take care of yourself.
You’re mad at God…the Universe or Source or whatever the trending term is today.
You don't want to be an entrepreneur; a fancy term for working endlessly - a slave to your creativity.
You search online for a steady paying job, read the job (slave) description and the salary. You make the choice to stay an entrepreneur. At least you're your own slave.
Clarity
The trouble with life...is…Other People!
You want to eat sugar and dead carbs and rage against how unfair it all is.
To clarify, in my case, the double entendre part of the FU Day is turned inward towards myself, not at other people. It’s just so much more convenient…I mean…I’m right there.
Stuckness
Autocorrect keeps changing Stuckness to Stickiness. No! I mean stuckness. It's a word. At least on an FU Day.
I feel Fat and Ugly, and I am stuck in self-loathing. I am not my own best friend...at this moment. I am stuck in STUCKNESS.
Giving Up
Yep. You read that right. I. Am. Giving up and giving in.
I accept my FU Day.
We’re human. Which means we'll have moments (days) when we get stuck in our imagined separation from God, Source, the Universe, our True Self...call it whatever speaks to you.
We all know what it feels like to feel lost, hurt, beaten down, bled dry, unmotivated to the max, ready to give up.
What to do when you have an FU Day?
After wallowing, raging, crying, - these shifts help me and may help you also reorganize mental chaos.
Forgiveness
I start by forgiving myself. Oh I know, so lame, so old “new age”, so in vogue now in some circles. Aye.
Because the eternal truths always are so simple they appear lame, but are actually profound.
Create Momentum
I jump up and down on my Rebounder. Or just swing my arms to re-wire my brain, chanting - okay mumbling, "I FORGIVE MYSELF." I even exaggerate how stupid this feels. It's so dumb….and effective. It targets the primal brain and nervous system creating an energy shift.
Gratitude
Even if it you're faking it.
I start half-heartedly saying out loud what I am grateful for. “I’m grateful for my two boys, who I thank God for every day.”
I have a Pavlovian reaction to this every time. Because no matter how bad an FU Day it is…I am deeply, to my soul, grateful for my children. Honestly. Tears are making my vision wavy.
Who wants to live a one-note life anyway? I’m deep. I’m complex. I'm real.
Reach Out:
Then I call a friend asking to moan and groan for 5 minutes tops…warning her to let me spew the negativity, get it all out…and stop me at the 5-minute mark.
Then I take 3 deep breaths in, refocus my Critical, Self-Mean Mind and make a cup of Earl Grey with soy milk {because all things feel better with tea and sympathy}.
A Pinch of Decadence:
Here’s the best part. Do something that represents a wee bit of decadence to you.
A hot bubble bath with hot cocoa while reading your current novel.
A lie in watching a favorite movie, getting some lovin’, let yourself loose for an hour or two or entire weekend.
Let Go
The thing about FU Days....they don't last. Just around the corner is something new.
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below on what you do when you're having an FU Day?
I'm a mindset focused professional organizer. I help entrepreneurs, busy moms and attorney clients simplify their papers and spaces. Let me help you go from clutter bug to freedom.
Jul’s you just keep topping yourself!! This post is PERFECTION!! It made me laugh, it made me empathize, but mostly, it made me relate. You have nailed it. Thank you for pointing into words what so many of us (all of us?) experience. This is THE post I will refer back to whenever I’m having one of those days. Thank you for providing such wonderful perspective to these challenging FU days!!
Well your comments and support mean so much and are the perfect antidote to any FU Day!!!
Ya, I had an FU couple of weeks I think.. they are gone.. I kind of try to not be so hard on myself on those days anymore.. I really like the way you describe it! I think there is much to be said for being in the moment.. sometimes you can’t force it.. So I enjoy my huge bowl of popcorn and TV and then move on.. oh, and I gave up mirrors and jeans a long time ago..
Well glad to hear your FU couple of weeks has gone by the wayside 😉 love that you gave up mirrors and jeans a long time ago!
Ha! I totally get this, Jul’s! I have to print out your list and post it on the wall next to my computer. It’s been one of those months. Sigh.
Seeing your reminders about how to turn it around is just what I needed. Now, to grab the dog and get some momentum going with a nice, long, decadent walk.
<3
So happy my post has given you some breathing room to deal with the demons! We all have them, especially working mothers and entrepreneurs, in my opinion. So many challenges daily with results not always coming steadily. Yes to your long walk! I would say that is not decadent, that is smartly organizing your health!
Oh Jul’s if only I didn’t relate to your FU day! I love the fact that you’re getting it out there. I think far too often we (or at least I do) hide the fact that these days exist as everyone else’s life seems to go on so perfectly. I usually console myself with the fact that it will all be better tomorrow. There are so many beautiful suggestions here to implement & I love them all. The rebounder sounds like so much fun! Thanks so much for having the courage to say what many don’t and for the amazing suggestions
Glad my FU post resonated with you. I find that when we don’t acknowledge the days we feel frustrated or steeped in those negative feelings…they fester even if we are unaware of them. Having some ideas of what to do to shift our mindset is helpful to me. It’s okay to feel those dark feelings…just not to remain there too long.
OMG Jul’s this is genius!! I have been having an FU month and it is time to turn that around. TODAY is a new day! How about a UF day? Unique and Fantastic…that’s me beginning today. Thank you, thank you for your Unending Friendship (UF). Hugs girl. ❤️
Beth! I. Love. UF. How brilliant is that! Let’s create and UF community! I am sorry you have had an FU month…I have just begun…and it’s scary to publicly acknowledge this…Hi, I’m Jul’s, and I’m a SugarAholic. I’ve begun a no sugar, no white flour revamp of my eating habits. Being an online entrepreneur has been wonderfully rewarding and horrible for my self-care, so I am on Day 3 of this path. I know crazy with holiday season…and I plan to be gentle with myself and just get right back on track if I choose to fall off. Here’s to true sweetness: our Unending Friendship (UF)!
Oh Jul’s, what a FREAKING AWESOME POST!!! This may be my fav yet!! I love the name, FU Day and you described it perfectly (plus your hysterically funny in your honesty)! I have those and I’m happy I now have an apropos title for it. Because really, days like that DESERVE a badass title. I, like you stated, just focus on the fact that this FU Day will end. Sometimes you just have to go with it and embrace the FU Day – in all it’s ugly fatness. Thank you for making me giggle and relate more than I’m comfortable admitting!!
Thank you, and I am so grateful that you a) found this a freaking awesome post…in CAPS!!! b) it may be your fav c) I best go trademark ASAP because it may be my best title invention yet d) that I now have a friend to contact or be contacted by for the next FU Day!
This is sound counsel to allow all parts of oneself to be heard — and to allow support from others in returning to balance!
That means so much to me that someone with your training and experience would say so! Thanks so very much, Neal. Hey, even the FU part of us deserves a voice and soothing.
Oh Jul’s your account of your FU day is so vivid.
I love how you moved through it. I find if I’m having a day like that those tools do help. I remind myself that it’s really ok and it’s temporary (even when it seems so messy and horrible), I stamp my feet and then I search for something caring and gentle to do for myself. I also love your idea of adding a bit of decadence. I’ll be doing that from now on.
Being a person who adores using self help techniques, I’ve found that on ‘those’ days, I’m better off just ‘letting go’ (rather than attempting to sort it out).
Absolutely agree Ferris. I find letting go, and how funny was just coaching a friend today through some family hurt, and recommending she let it go for today, sit with some of that disappointment and pain, and sort it out after the sting is not so strong. I sometimes think many of us got the message when young, that we must not feel negative feelings, we must not feel sad or angry. However, those feelings are just as much a part of life, and burying them makes us more stuck. Letting go is now added to the list! Thanks.
Love it Jul’s, including the graphic : )
Thank you so much, Judy! So wonderful to hear my post has resonated with so many. I like the FU girl graphic too 🙂
Oh, those days…
I am lucky to have yoga – it pulls me together no matter the day.
It’s a miracle.
Just breathing and doing the motions, knowing that just by being there it’s a progress.
That’s what I do.
🙂
Great recommendation Llyane! Yoga is wonderful for shifting energy both physically and mentally. Breath is the core for changing our moods and attitudes for sure.
oh my gosh! i think i’ve been having an FU WEEK, jul’s! my back hurts, i’m on antibiotics that are upsetting my stomach, my older son is going through a rough time, i’m trying to help my dad through his new diagnosis of congestive heart failure, and i’ve gained weight since entering menopause … it’s time for forgiveness, creating momentum, gratitude, reaching out, and most especially “a pinch of decadence!” (i love your suggestions.) thank you for 1) recognizing that we all feel this way at times, and for 2) providing ideas for sound and comforting relief.
Oh…an FU Week….been there, and wow so much on your emotional plate right now. My sincere support as you and those you love manage these challenges. I am so glad my honesty resonated with you and offered some support and relief. Being human is not a straight course. I hope you feel better…I take a daily refrigerated acidophilus capsule to keep the healthy flora strong in my stomach. Hope your dad gets good care and improves his condition and oh, our sons…I pray he comes through his rough time quickly. Take heart, all we shift and improve.